the joy of being alone

Today I spent the day alone.  Ohhh, poor you, so many people will say.  Save it, I love being alone.  I crave it, I protect it and I cherish every minute of it. 

I don't understand people who have to have others around all the time.   If you can't be alone how can you be with others?  Or is it just that in this plugged in society, all our validation of self has become dependant on being constantly connected to others?  

I like being able to do what I want, when I want.  To sew all day, to sit and read a book, to not have to shower or comb my hair, (my dog could care less) to eat when I feel like it or  not.  I can buy what I want, when I want and I don't have to ask or explain or feel bad because I bought myself something.

I even enjoy traveling alone.  I know, you are probably aghast, but until you have traveled half way across the world alone (many times), don't knock it.   There is something quite liberating to be able to depend on yourself for whatever you need, be it traveling, remodeling your house or just plain entertaining yourself on a weekend.

I know there are people who think it that is horribly self centered to put themselves first.  But my opinion is that if you don't put yourself first you will constantly be trying to find someone else who will, and if you do choose to have a relationship, that puts a tremendous amount of stress on the other person.  
We all know a person who thinks that for a relationship to work that they needed to be joined at the hip.   Who is constantly on the phone with their "significant other" and who's whole being is tied up in being a couple.    Or maybe you are thinking, Hmmm.... what's wrong with that?   If you are that person, well, good luck with that.  Hope that works out well for you.  If it doesn't, remember, you can't learn to be with someone else until you learn to be by yourself.    And once you learn to be by yourself, you might just like it enough to want to stay that way.
Sooner or later, most everyone will be alone.  Kids grow up and get lives, spouses die, or you get divorced.  It is just a life transition and like all other transitions, it is something to embrace and explore.

Now I am not saying that no one should have a relationship, just don't judge a persons happiness on whether or not they do.    Someone I know recently gave up her job and moved across country with someone that she feels will be her "sugar daddy" for life.  She's spent the last 5 years since she got divorced trying to find another person to take care of her because it is easier to be what someone else wants her to be than to be responsible for herself and her own happiness.   When another friend made the remark that "there is still hope for you" (meaning me),  I pointed out that if I wanted someone I would have had them years ago!

I like being alone, I have no desire to be involved in another relationship.  I don't  want to deal with another persons drama, kids, health issues, emotional needs, etc.   I like being self-centered.  Hey, it took me 20 years to get another dog because of the commitment that comes with having one.
So save your pity, and comments.  You don't have to feel sorry for me, I am not just biding time waiting for my next "other".   God forbid, if anyone even looks like they might ask me out, I run as fast as I can for the nearest door! 

I spent the day in my basement sewing my heart out, listening to Pink Floyd and Alan Parsons Project, singing and occasionally dancing .   And totally happy.