So today, as I was scraping paint off the floor at a friends house, I started thinking maybe I should do this blog stuff. What the heck, I like to write, have been told I seem to have alot to say, (no, not me!) and since writing is supposed to be good for the soul, I thought, hell, why not.
So what do I know to write about. Well, at 52 and going kicking and screaming into middle? age, (guess if I live to be 104), what better subject than aging not so gracefully.
So my first proufound Blog is about dating in middle age.
I have always dated younger men, anywhere from 10-15 years younger. My ex (the 2nd one) is the only man I had ever dated that was older than me. Ever. Of course, I always used to look at least 10 years younger (notice the used to, now I'd give it a couple of years, max). And why did I date younger guys? Some would say that it was (is) a reflection of my emotional maturity. They probably aren't wrong. But I'd like to think it was because the younger guys wanted to date me.
But at my advanced age, and seeing a middle aged? woman face looking back at me in the mirror (and none to happy about it I might add) when someone my own age asked me out I decided to try it.
It seemed to be going well, I mean we knew the same songs, we watched the same shows, he remembered what he was doing when Kennedy was shot. Hell, he was actually ALIVE when Kennedy was shot! He had morals (more about that later) and he thought it was good to wait til we knew each other better to have sex. (Should have been a clue).
It went well for awhile, but after we got comfortable with each other things started. Things I've never noticed with younger guys. Sure he liked to go out dancing but sit down to watch a movie and he was out in the chair. Now, if we had been dating for years I could handle that, but hey, after a couple of months? And the hat. Ok, dating younger guys, I've never dated a bald guy, and I should have guessed when the hat hadn't come off in several dates, but he was bald!! Now you say, I am shallow, if I liked him it wouldn't matter. And it wouldn't have but, but darn it, when he took off his hat he looked just like my GRANDPA!!! Especially with his "readers" on. And I don't mean figuratively, but literally, he looked just like my grandpa. Not a deal breaker yet, but almost.
It's not looking too good. But hey, I'm giving it a try here. So I persist. I mean, he is fun, not much deep and serious conversation, but he dances so you know what that means!
We have a makeout session. Not bad, He can kiss. Might get past the bald grandpa look. Oh, and did I mention, I've never dated a guy with a gut. Ever. Hate them. I am sorry if you have one, but to me a guy that looks like he is 7 months pregnant is not sexy. It's not healty, it's bad for your back, etc, etc. (no, I am not perfect but I still wear the same size I did when I was 18). But, like I said, I am trying hard here.
So comes the big night, 4 months into the relationship. NOW I KNOW WHY I DON'T DATE OLDER MEN!!! Now I have a friend who dated someone who almost OD on viagra to keep up with her. (yes, that is really true) My older guy should have made friends with him and borrowed a couple! You guessed it. Now, that is not a big deal, it happens now and then, even with younger guys. But the first time after NO sex for 4 months? Not a good sign. Plus add in the bald head, cartoon boxers (come on, who could POSSIBLY think cartoon boxers are sexy?) the gut and love handles, and I wasn't all that disappointed it didn't happen.
So are we still dating? No, but we are still friends and I think he is a nice guy and I wish him luck in the future.
So I am back to "dating" my younger guy. But at my age "younger" is all relative! LOL
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I think you are gonna like this blogging thing. You got a lot out. Don't think I don't know who you are talking about with the OD of viagra!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteIt's possible you didn't do such a good job hiding your growing dislike of him. Nothing like an older woman acting like she's to good for you and curling up her nose at you to give a guy performance anxiety.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'd plan on staying single too if I was you.
Actually, I don't think I ever let him know he was growing distasteful until I saw a very nasty side of him while he was drunk, because until that time I enjoyed his company and the rest could be overlooked. After seeing a nasty side (and he professing to be a good "Christian man") the rest was not as easy to tolerate. But let us just say he must have not been listening when I said I was not a meek and mild female and thought his promise keeper mentality was going to work here.
ReplyDeleteAnd since he was OLDER than ME, I was not the older woman. Read a little closer please if you are going to criticize.
His performance failure was due more, I am sure, to an undiagnosed prostrate problem (first clue to all you guys is if you pee every 20 minutes, get it checked). It was not a big deal to me, happens to every guy at some point, but it freaked him out.
As far as planning to stay single. I am not someone who NEEDS someone in their life (in fact, I think it is highly over-rated) and I am sure it is hard for you to understand, but I actually LIKE being single. I've had an off/on relationship (read go to guy) for 19 years who btw, doesn't have a performance problem!! In my opinion, after years of observation, for the most part there are 2 reasons people get into/stay in relationships is they can't be alone and they think they can't survive without sex.
So your last comment, though meant to wound makes me laugh. Obviously you are not one who can find joy on their own!
This just reinforced my opinion that it is way better to be single than suffer a fool.